Now, my timing to get to Ambar's place turned out to be great... in fact, I managed to get here whilst she was on her way to the local grocery store to pick up some dead cow for dinner. Fortunately, I have net access, a wireless network to slip into, and the portable to write on. There was even a Dr. Pepper in the fridge (that was really sweet... she's on the whole atkin's no carbs thing and all), so I'm relatively well caffeinated.
Roni actually asked for an "hitachi ride" last night. The request was not only not a problem, it stunned me to realize how long it had been since I had GIVEN her one. I think at some point I stopped giving them, thinking I was becoming a bit too reliant on technology -- a "toy break", if you will.
But then, I never relied solely on the "Magic Wand" -- it was more an adjunct to (ahem) other things I would be doing.
I bring all this up, because I realized something about Roni that I sorta knew all along, but I think I need to help her work out a bit better. It's her tendency to go all innocent about various aspects of her sexuality... like asking "what do you need THOSE for?!" as I bring out the non-latex gloves and the lube.
45 minutes later, trust that she KNEW what they were for. After she had such a wonderful time, I asked her why she didn't ask for "rides" more often... and she actually blushed and demurred, saying something about how she couldn't.
To which I firmly called her out on it: After 7 years of having an intimate, polyamorous and kinky relationship, it's time she learned how to ask me for what she wants.
Though I can see her difficulty... even while I was driving her to distraction, she would go from... "No... No more... Enough..." to "YES!! Don't stop!" as quickly as you could read this sentence. Mixed messages and me don't usually do too well, and even though I can handle it in her case, I really want to show her how a lot of people can misunderstand her needs that way. She denied doing it, of course... so I think I plan to run a little experiment next time by doing a sound recording of the process. I've already told her I would do it, and she didn't exactly say "No"... more mixed messaging, darn it all.
UPDATED: Oh, and if you're concerned I DIDN'T stop immediately when she said "no", I did specifically remind myself that she has a safeword. Of course, in this case she never used it (never occurred to her to, in her words) -- in fact, I wound up stopping from exhaustion before she got to the point where she might have.
So, I think I'll post this and do some OTHER writing for a change. On the drive up I had a few character ideas I wanted to flesh out a bit.