You know there's nothing like having the universe mock your efforts to be a calmer driver by throwing a stoned asshole in a Sebring at you.
Roni and I were heading to the theater to see the Kinsey Sicks, when this idiot starts veering into my lane... No signal, no horn, and only my peripheral vision (thank you, Stanford!) saved us from being shoved into a line of parked cars.
I lean on the horn and hit the breaks, and numbnuts (as he shall be henceforth known) weaves back and forth, winding up straddling the lanes. Apparently he doesn't like that I'm upset at nearly being rammed, and starts flipping me off as we wait at the light at Van Ness. The bird he was exhibiting showed signs of a lack of drilling and the bad form you can fall into from such lack of practice, so I showed him how I learned in it NY.
He actually gets out of the car, and starts to call me out. I tell him he's an idiot, and he should learn that turn signals and lanes are NOT optional. He tells me to get out of the car!
At this point his passenger emerges, and I realize that the car has obviously been stolen by two crack heads. So I tell him (all this without yelling, by the way) that he's not worth my time, and whip around him and his bud (the lights changed at this point) and pulled an escape maneuver that flawlessly trapped him at the intersection whilst I made an escape. Two years ago I might have been stupid enough to get out of the car. Tonight, he wasn't worth the energy to even raise my voice.
I'm sure he's chortling about what a pussy I was with his buddy, as they wank off to porn together because they can't get dates.
Apparently it was the right thing to do: When I got to the parking lot next to the theater, I was about to drop the eight bucks, when this guy rolls up and says "Hey, I just got here and have to leave... why don't you use my ticket in the same spot?" I wished him a happy holiday... and further resolved to spend an additional eight bucks tomorrow for some toys for charity.*
What can I say about the show -- they were hysterical. "Soylent Night" was especially wrong and evil and MUST be on the Holiday album they're releasing next year. If you're in the bay area, try and go see them... but hustle, because the shows ARE selling out.
Roni was laughing as hard as I was, which is good, considering the events of the past week. So far, it's unanimous -- breaking up a three year relationship via e-mail is, at best, tacky. She had a rough patch just now, after we got home (and after dodging some idiot who ran a stop sign over on steiner on the way back from obtaining icy goodness... another new bug, Techno Blue. Imagine THAT insurance claim), but is feeling a lot better.
Tomorrow I finally get to see Return of the King... WOO!!!
*Here's something to think about: It's called toys for tots, but there are also teens who don't get presents because all the donations are fit for toddlers. I figure a couple of cheap walkmans or some such would go a long way to fixing that.