Roni was the one to tell me to get out of bed and eat something (two CostCo burgers tossed onto the Foreman can do wonders). I hadn't heard back yet from Apex, so she also encouraged me to do a followup call. I had sent one of my better "thank you" post-interview notes last night to both people present at the interview yesterday, but according to one of my references they might not have even checked those as yet. Not sure if it means anything (probably not -- though if I wasn't going to be interviewed today, I SO could have used a visit to dragonwitchling's place in Sac whilst her family was away).
So after cramming both burgers down (tho' I ran into that strange problem where I couldn't eat that very last bite) I gave them a call. The recruiter was on another call, but the receptionist told me he wanted to give me a call back -- I made sure they had the number at the house. If he reflexively uses the Cell, I made sure it was set up in the one place it will pick up a signal. I may have to run outside to have an actual conversation, but I'm dressed in sweats and ready to go if that should happen.
I have to confess that I'm actually pretty happy with how well I'm handling this job nibble thing. My take is even if (goddess forfend) this should fall through, I've made a good impression on the recruiter. Professional, well spoken, well written, and cleans up well, as a certain Koosh will attest to -- though next time I see her I'm going to take a picture of the HOT get-up she greeted me with last night. We're talking black stockings, a denim short-skirt, and this top that emphasized her attributes (is THAT what the kids are calling those these days?). She said she wanted to complement my interview chic -- she made me feel under dressed -- or that we were both OVER dressed.
SO, while waiting for the burgers to cook I cleaned the counters and got the dishes loaded into the washer. I still need to make sure the trash and recyclables get to the "curb" (such as it is here in the boonies), but at least I feel like I've managed to accomplish SOMETHING already, despite the regular bouts of crying jags that keep hitting me.
At one point this morning Love Child came down and snuggled with me under the blankets for hours, purring at me and pressing against me. I burst into tears thinking that they were going away, all the cats I've come to know and care for over the last decade. Only fellow cat lovers could understand why that would hurt almost as much as losing Michele, yet I couldn't have it any other way -- Bijou and Tigerlilly were hers before I came along, and Love Child is HER cat, and Scout is Rob's. It's a indication of the sad state of the rental market in the East Bay that she could so easily find places that wouldn't blink at four cats.
Roni has made it clear that I could come up to the city tonight if I needed to. kshandra had hoped to come up and spend some time tonight, but had spaced that her mom was taking her to dinner, and she's apparently already rescheduled with her once, and THAT was because of me as well.
I suppose I could wander up to Hayweird to hang with the wonder triplets, except that I've only just started to work stuff out with penguin_goddess, and have barely begun with lovingstones, and I simply don't trust myself in my current, less than stable state of mind. I wouldn't lose my temper... I would just burst into tears every few minutes, regardless of what the energy was.
Speaking of energy, I still have no idea where the source of that "black, tar-like" energy lavendersage referred to in her LJ is. I mean, could it just be something I'm producing myself, like some sort of spiritual sebum oozing from an oily soul? Or is it just the end product of worrying myself into a frenzy over... well, everything?
Sudden Segue (or, an update even before I post this): Mike, the recruiter from Apex, just called -- the contractor doing desktop support for NASA has seen my resume and wants to do a face-to-face interview! The hang-up is that they're doing some CYA and triple checking that the headcount is good to go before they schedule the interview. This could be as soon as tomorrow (!) or as late as next Tuesday.
It's a darn good thing Roni and I will be doing Karaoke with kshandra and company this Friday... I think I could use some more public humiliation therapy as I belt out something appropriate to my mood. Moods? Shit, I'm so changeable of late I feel like a traffic signal.
I think I'm going to settle in for the night (after the trash is taken care of, Natch!) and crank the music to Too Loud levels, drink hot chocolate mixed with Baily's, and catch Smallville and Angel on the tube. And pet kitties.