Yohannon (yohannon) wrote,

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Another Sudden Left Turn

The phone call to Eileen didn't happen. This is because I happened to see her online, so I pinged her about talking, and she surprised me by asking if I could come over (this is obviously the abbreviated version of a much longer conversation).

We spent two hours talking, holding each other, and re-connecting. By no means can it be considered anything other than a first, small step toward working things out, and I'm certain that if I'm not careful I could screw things up. Yet once again I feel my faith is justified.

I know Roni is really worried that I'll be hurt again. To be honest, after everything that happened I don't think I could be done nay more damage than I've already had done (or done) to myself.

A lot of good stuff has come from this mess. It's forced me to look at a lot of my stuff. My relationship with Roni is so strong as to be unshakable... and yes, I truly believe that now. I think a lot of my sense of peace comes from a being forced to face a lot of the things that scared me, and a lot of my relationship issues are mixed up with that fear.

This will have to be a short piece: The store is going insane (we're open to midnight, but I get out at ten... I churn and come in at 8 tomorrow), and I'm trying to take a full lunch to keep from losing it until the end of my shift. I might be posting something tomorrow night that might be considered good news by some, a certain sign of the apocalypse by others. Some of y'all already know what it is -- and more than that I will not tell until then.
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