March 10th, 2004


Still Waiting on those Further Goddamn Instructions

Okay, I'm popping Wellbutrin like M&M's until I cheer the fuck up already.

Apparently I've managed to alienate at least three people I care about this week... and it's only the hump.

Either I snap out of this deadly lockdown of the spirit or somebody should just SHOOT me like the dirty dawg I am.

That is all.

UPDATE: I literally just found a banana slug in my bathroom... yes, another one. Staring at me from the paperback shelf across from the toilet. Which just BEGS the question -- kindred spirits?

I should point out that this isn't a guilt trip, it's a self pity party. If you're going to slap me upside the head, do it correctly, 'kay?
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed

Red Alert!

It's official... I'm so depressed, I just ate an entire package of Oreos.

Here's the problem, folks... I'm the kind of person who writes well enough to make his life sound all interesting and fun, and from the perspective of most people that's true enough, I suppose. From this end it's "interesting" in that Chinese curse way.

People want to meet me (well, sometimes) and sometimes things click wonderfully. However, much like the Oreo's I just spent the last few hours scarfing, I am only tolerable in small doses.

Roni keeps pointing out that we spend literally half the week in continuous contact, yet I still fear that she'll burn out on me too. Perhaps all it'll take is an extra day in close contact. Hell, lovingstones and lavendersage barely lasted 18 months before tossing my shoes (it's supposedly a "hiatus", but I seriously doubt I'll be able to live up to whatever expectations they have). Michele took over 10 years, true, but I suspect that the same thing that kicked her ass for the last 5 years delayed the inevitable. The fact that once she felt well enough she's gotten her own place and is leaving me pretty much sums it up. ambar has the same trouble with me, as does kshandra. steelmagnoliaca dropped me as well...

Patterns. You know, trying to learn from one's past in hopes of improving the future.

The fact that I can't see how I can change the things that make people the most nuts just makes me want to roll up in this bed and sleep it off for a few decades. Rip Van Yohannon, anyone?
  • Current Mood
    depressed depressed