December 6th, 2004


What The Dickens...

Well, went to Dickens Fair at the Cow Palace in SF yesterday. I didn't think I would have any weekends free until after the holidays, but my manager surprised me with this weekend off. My only complaint is that they didn't TELL me I had it off until Friday.

However, it was fairly easy to collect penguin_goddess and Roni and take to the road Sunday afternoon. Making it even more a case of kismet was that we were miracled two tickets as we were walking up to the fair, so we wound up only having to buy 1 ticket instead of three... and when they're $20 each, that's a pretty hefty gift.

It was a LOT harder than I thought it would be. I kept seeing Linda everywhere -- the children's crafts section with the brass rubbings and other things she sold late last year to another non-profit, the show at Mad Sal's (she WAS mad Sal for years... until she handed the baton to someone else last year)... Especially that show. Molly was there, and she sang a couple of Linda's songs. Afterwards, she caught my eye, and said how hard it was to do them, how weird. I realized that she was looking at me for some sort of validation (nothing so strong as approval), so I assured her that she did a great job. That part wasn't hard -- she had done a great job, and as much as I had to hide my tears behind sunglasses in a darkened room, I would have been far sadder NOT to hear those bawdy tunes. Linda taught people those old songs to carry them onward, not to drop them as soon as she died.

I managed to keep from losing it until getting back to the car. Thank goddess Kim and Roni are so supportive, otherwise I would have felt awful for putting such a pall on things like that.

Blah blah blah grieving process blah, blah blah time blah...


Eventually this gets easier. I know it does.

I think my mood for the remainder of last night into today could best be described as "somber". Now if I can figure out what my schedule will look like next week, I could make some holiday plans. Maybe I'll go harass the manager about that now.

Yeah, a little self righteous indignation could be the ticket.
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