I have long since come to a peaceful place regarding the inevitable heart shaped... well, everything. Cakes, balloons, even birthday cards. I seem to remember a LOT of those cards were pre-printed and specific to the V-day baby -- I wonder how many mothers psyched themselves to induce on that day?
I know mine wasn't one of them. By 9:15 PM (EST) my mom was ready to have me out.
So, here we are 43 years later, and I'm still causing trouble. A shout out to everyone who has ALREADY remembered -- I even got a call from Pat this morning, which is always a great thing.
In other worlds, things with Audra and Eileen are progressing better. Before widespread panic sets in, all three of us are progressing slowly, talking a lot, and getting to the roots of why we keep having to blowups. I know people don't understand why I keep working at it, and (if I'm to fully embrace the openness thing) sometimes I wonder as well. I suspect the universe has plans for us, if only to help us work through our respective issues.
It's also a bit unfair to think that this forum provides a balanced picture -- I don't post about everything. I don't even post a substantial enough chunk of my life compared to all the excitement and fun that day to day living brings.
This journal gets a LOT of my internal drama and processing -- but not even a full percentage of that makes it to the page.
As a result, I know a lot of you are wary when I say something like "Situation X? The one that was tearing me up, completely beyond repair, and generally fucked up? Um... it's ok now." When I see how protective people are of me it gives me this warm glow -- there was a time when that wouldn't have been so. Being "protected" at one time felt a lot like being coddled, lied to, and generally corralled in ways that made me feel disconnected by what was going on. True, that was due to how I reacted to ANY changes in my life and environment, yet I was better served learning how to cope... even if I had to invent the tools myself, from whole cloth.
So, bear with me. I think there's a point there.
Meanwhile, my Mom is back east digging out from under 2 feet of snow (on Long Island? Wild...), I just found out that Apple HR lied by omission when I asked them about family leave stuff last year (apparently there's some program where you can take the leave and be reimbursed by California for the time off... I need to ask my Perforce HR person about that!), and I got to (all too briefly) see perlandria last Friday (I helped her a tiny bit with her monologue -- completely in an editorial capacity). Paka impressed me with his "instant nap" ability in The Potato. LoveSac should be giving me commission considering how many people I seduce with the Big Globe o' Soft Goodness.
Saturday was... interesting. Ok, Saturday was a frustrating day. Best laid plans of this mouse seemed to fall through at every part of the day. I think it was a lesson in letting things happen as they happen, and not focussing on whatever arbitrary goal that I might have had in mind originally.
Sunday was a LOT better. Roni and I actually made it to CostCo where I avoided the temptation that was the 40.00 Pink Panther Movie collection on DVD. However, we succumbed to the collected "Back to the Future" movie set for 18.99 (for all three movies?! Hell yeah!). I even got a new pair of 19.00 Levi's that... um... fit.
That's something I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with. Yes, the irony of Yohannon, world infamous fat admirer, dealing with... weight issues.
I've gained 15 pounds since starting this job, and it ALL seems to have collected around my waist and belly. I'm still in pretty good shape, but I need to get a bit more active -- I suspect a lot of this will tighten up if I start biking to work as planned. I was originally planning on waiting a few more months, but it looks like I'm getting a (very small) unexpected windfall.
I received an e-mail reminder last week regarding exchanging my Garage.com stock for cash due to the conversion from a corporation to a traditional VC LLP*. If that doesn't make any sense, don't worry about it -- the bottom line is that they take all of my stock (some 26,000 shares) and give me money. After nearly 10 (!!) years, it's the last connection I have to the dot.bust.
I've long since passed into the "laugh about it now" phase. Still, it does little good to realize that, in April of 2000, our IPO was slated to go with an initial stock price of 17.00. I was looking at over half a million from day one, with a good chance that would double or triple after the 6 month waiting period.
Nearly 6 full years later I'll be lucky to clear two thousand dollars.
Free money at least? I figure if I only count one hour of OT a day, and only the weekdays, that came to about a dollar an hour.
At least I can get a bike for me, one for Roni... and maybe a couple a pairs of pants to hold me until I convert some of this weight back to muscle. There's a chance I might wind up NOT Losing weight, and could still have to replace 3/4 of my trousers because they've gotten too tight around the waist. I can live with that.
Anyway, back to my day (already in full progress!).
* Note I said "reminder" -- apparently they had been sending mail to Boulder Creek, but getting any packages returned, so they thought I was receiving it. My first impulse was to ask why they hadn't sent e-mails to confirm I had RECEIVED those packets, but decided it was too petty to worry about.