Yohannon (yohannon) wrote,

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Attack of the (Almost) Killer Trees...

No, not bees...TREES.

So, I was driving to meet with my friend Sarina in Fremont to pass off a rose quartz (long story with little pay-off for people who don't do Magick). It was completely and UTTERLY clear in the Bay Area, calm, not so much as a breeze.

I was stuck behind a tourist who was panicking at every curve on Highway 9 (you know the one...they manage to hit the speed limit once, and assume that means they DON'T have to use the turnouts) and had someone coming up about a quarter mile behind me. That latter's important, as I was keeping an eye on my rear view mirror a lot.

So we had just come around a curve, and I glanced in my mirror...and saw trees. Where no trees should be. Namely, right off the back of my car, and filling the road with their tree-ness.

Cognitive dissonance time: It was like the old Cosby bit about trees jumping out and biting cars...only it was really happening.

I got about a quarter mile ahead and turned my ass around, even though I knew it would make me late for lunch. I couldn't have slept nights not knowing if the people who were behind me were ok.

Answer: They were fine. A guy drove up and stopped behind me, and asked me what happened. When he heard that those bad boys had JUST missed me, his first comment mirrored exactly what I was thinking: "Dude, buy a Lotto ticket TODAY!" With a mega-number of 9, right?

I was laughing. A lot. I think it was a bit of a shock. We tried to move them, but those things were SOLID.

The trucks present managed to slear a lane, we moved the worst of the debris out of the way...and I wound up directing traffic for a few minutes. A bunch of us tried to call CalTrans, but no signal could be found.

Once most of us cleared out, I wound up talking to the guy heading up the hill...turned out he had moved to Boulder Creek the previous October. He was stunned to discover that the rains last winter were NOTHING compared to an El Nino year (46 inches this year...nearly *100* for El Nino). He felt pretty prepared for emergencies ("We have a generator, batteries, flashlights...") so I asked him the one that NO ONE seems to remember:


The look on his face was priceless...it was obvious he HADN'T thought of that one. "Water?"

"Earth moves a lot up there, man. It either stops, or gets funky...you want something just in case".

You pumped hands, and moved on...but not before we both got digital pics of the mess to prove that it really happened.

Surrealness, man.
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