Yohannon (yohannon) wrote,
Yohannon
yohannon

Yet Another Holiday Season Looms Above Me Like A Shadow Out Of Innsmouth

Okay, so I'm being ultra-melodramatic about it. Long time readers of this chunk of language so tortured it hails from Abu Ghraib Prison (Warden Bush presiding) know that every year around "The Day of the Turkey Dead" (I told Dr. Bill I would steal that line!) I start to tighten up like a drum on the playa in mid-summer. Of course, I've been working on the residual cruft that has had large portions of my psyche held hostage by bitter nasty and evil holiday's of my youth, so at least I know when to self medicate my worst moments into oblivion.

This year, however, I've received so many chances to indulge in feeling righteous vindication, directly and not, that's hard not to feel almost -- dare I say it? -- light and happy just as we go screaming into the forced cheer of hyper-consumerist over-indulgence. A large part of that is directly attributable to the elections, which have me singing (to the tune of "Danke Schoen" ):
Schadenfreude, darling, schadenfreude,
They're so annoyed, that they're unemployed,
Avenue K, "pay for play", casino's where they'd meet, laws to beat, the indian's treat, a "honeymoon" suite.

Schadenfreude, darling, schadenfreude,
I'm overjoyed that they're paranoid.
I can see, agents hiding in a tree, subpoenaed and fined, warrants signed, suspects lined, I don't mind!

Schadenfreude, darling, schadenfreude,
Though they lawyered up, they could not avoid,
That one phone call, the long hard fall, a resignation address, to publicly confess, then name them all!

Schadenfreude, darling, schadenfreude,
Excised them ,like a painful hemorrhoid,
Away they go, to be locked away, 'till the end of their days, bribery never pays, so I say, Schadenfreude.

Schadenfreude, Hasta la Vista, schadenfreude.*

Okay, so I'm being silly. But that's actually a good sign, dontcha know -- it means that I'm not weighed down by some invisible cloud as heavy as all my lovers, past and present combined... only not as much fun as that sounds.**

I originally intended to talk about my trip to Arizona last weekend, but things are getting busier here at work, and that stupid parody took up most of my self alloted break time.*** Also, that post will require some re-sizing of some ultra cute pictures of Lilly that some of the sucrose intolerant may want to skip for fear of sugar shock. I promise cut tags will be involved to protect the insulin deprived.

However, I will leave you with this wonderful post from gridlore's journal that gave me much joy -- I think we've all, at one point or another, wished that life actually worked like this all the time.

* I suddenly had this image of myself doing my best lounge lizard reminiscent of Bill Muarry singing this in a tux, perhaps in a YouTube video with clips of Abramoff, DeLay, Ney, a few of the bigger losers of the election, ending with Rummy, Lieberman, Cheney and the Shrub at their most petulent. Think Saturday Night Live would hire me? Maybe a development deal for Comedy Central. At the very least a visit from Homeland security for some late night trip to Gitmo. Habeas Corpus, we hardly knew ye.

** At some point during the holiday potluck we had yesterday a bunch of us began discussing bond films, which (somehow inevitably) turned to talking about Bond women. Someone mentioned Halle Barry in a skin tight outfit, and I (suitably lubricated by Really Good Scotch™) said I would prefer if it were Camryn Manheim in a skin tight outfit. One or two more shots and I might have said Jorge Garcia in a skin tight outfit. Strangely enough, I seriously doubt that would have caused a stir at all.

*** Not that anyone would notice if I didn't do ANYTHING today -- one of the things that makes this a great job is, when those "bad ADHD" days hit no one makes snarky comments for my sudden, sharp drop in productivity for a day or so. That's because I snap back strongly and don't have those days but once every few weeks. However, on days like today when I feel sharp and "on" I don't want to dwadle too much.
Tags: funny, holidaze, instant_karma, politics, silly, work
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