Almost made it through the Annual Turkey Holocaust weekend without major upheavals -- managed to be bitchy Sunday night, but then managed to salvage something of the evening despite my low level disease of the soul. It's aggravating that complete awareness of my issues around the holidays has done little to prevent these little self destructive episodes. Strange how the monitor voice was laughing at me the entire time, pointing out merrily that I was being an absolute ass AND stupid beyond words -- I can't even bring myself to write about the internal conversation in too much detail for fear that even my most ardent supporters would declare me too moronic too live.
The good news is that I've discovered that there are ways to be bitchy that are socially acceptable and even entertaining -- I've embraced my inner-snark.
The trick is to discard any sense of remorse at insulting complete strangers when given sufficient cause. Like last night, as Kim, Roni and I want to the Sun Valley mall to check out the "Happy Feet" snow globes. I was stunned at how empty the mall was -- while we were waiting in line to get a picture of the three of us taken* (ah, the joy's of green screens!), some young (and very white) gangsta wannabe let out a whoop designed to aggravate and annoy anyone less than 100 feet away. Roni and Kim were aggravated and let it show, so I noted "Oh, he's just upset that it's reached it's full size".
Just as he was walking by.
I've been like that all week -- snarking whenever possible. And through snarkiness I have achieved some measure of peace on earth -- at least for myself and people in my immediate circle of caring. So now when I make nasty un-filtered comments regarding Bush banning iPod sales to North Korea**, or even nastier comments regarding Condi Lice's sex life, or anything else that catches my mind's eye, you'll know it's because I care.
Here's to enjoying the holidays with all the humor and sarcasm I can bring to bear!
* Yes, I plan to scan it in and display it as soon as I can -- especially since Kim wants a copy as well.
** Sure, everyone supports it -- for one thing, TOTAL exports to N. Korea are about 5.8 Million annually. That's less than the Apple Store in NYC makes in a single DAY. One wonders why this approach wasn't taken with Sadaam -- oh, that's right, he didn't actually HAVE nuclear weapons, but does have oil.