Part of this was recently chronicled in lavendersage's journal. The whole point of our journals is to express feelings and thoughts, sometimes not quite jelled or complete. The mistake I think a lot of people make is the idea that these are our final thoughts on issues, that the complete story is all here.
I admit, I like to create entries that stand on their own more often than not. It keeps me focused, helps me to polish my abilities as a writer, and face even the unpleasant aspects of my life and (perhaps most important!) myself. All those foibles and out and out flaws that can range from endearing to infruiating.
As a result, I have pissed off or otherwise annoyed some people, outted myself utterly and completely to my mother, and have presented slightly imbalanced views of people close to me.
Take the situation with Audra. I complained about something that happened, before it had a chance to resolve itself. If I wait until it's all resolved, weeks could go by, and I would have forgotten the whole genesis. If I really want to get something out of this journal, I want to see how I react to things as they happen, and not in the context of the past. Shit, that sucked...
Well, I'm just going to go back to journaling as it happens, stop fretting and second guessing what I write.
Anyway, I'm watching the original broadcast version of the Buffy Musical. Yes, AGAIN. I suspect that this movie is my Gunga Din. Damn, that's a REALLY obscure reference, so a brief explanation.
There was a book by some radio personality, came out in the 70's. It was called (I think) "I Miss Me When I'm Here". The main character was a complete and utter Gunga Din fanatic in the age where he was at the mercy of broadcast networks and revival film houses. He would stop having sex rather than miss a chance to see it again.
Ah well...thank goddess I live in the age of TiVo and other PVR's. Later, y'all.