Yohannon (yohannon) wrote,

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Oh My Goddess, He's NOT Kidding

Just read this article. When I first saw the link in browngirl's LJ, I thought I was hallucinating.

I had no trouble getting into or around the city tonight. I think I managed to time it just right, though to be safe I walked to Roni's work in case I had to walk the car out through who knows what. Turns out not to be a problem, though it was also a good idea... while at Smart N Final I suggested making dinner. Chicken stuffed with cheese and broccoli, Pan fried potatoes, and fresh spinach braised with garlic and butter. I popped "Auntie Mame" into the DVD player and served it up to her on the couch. I think she seriously needed that.

She's unconscious next to me now, exhausted the poor thing. Work was NUTS for her today, though there was SOME good news: Even though there was only 50% of the building population, they were pretty much a captive audience, so the day's take at the Café didn't suck.

By the way, some tips for the demonstrators: ANYONE can defecate on a federal building or lie in the middle of an intersection. If you want to seriously disrupt anything, take some tips from uncle Yo:

  • Have you ever considered the sheer evil of a WHITE disruption? It's like the fabled "white mutiny" where soldiers under a particularly onerous command decide to live by the book... and STRICTLY by the book. Sounds like a control freak's dream? Actually, it can be a nightmare. Extend it to the highways and byways of life here in Northern California, and you have the capability to completely and utterly bring the bay area to a standstill. All it would take are a few dozen people equipped with vehicles, cell phones and a shitload of minutes. Take up strategic locations so that you have a car in each lane. Here's the thing... DRIVE THE SPEED LIMIT. No more, no less. Think about it.

  • Look, if you want to shut down a bridge, running toward the exit ramps on FOOT is stupid. Get some vehicles, load them up, drive them onto the deck of your choice, unload... and THEN lie down on the roadway. Done correctly it would take HOURS for the CHP to finally get to you.

  • Alternate bridge shutdown #1: Remember when that load of fish got dumped on the Bay Bridge? The complete and utter shutdown of the local roadways, on or off the span? (nudge)

  • Alternate bridge shutdown #2: Find a bunch of vehicles that you don't mind losing, but can manage to at least limp along a few last miles. Take about twenty of those onto the bridge, two rows, spread across traffic. Stop mid-span, lock the cars together with bike locks, run forward to the two or three vehicles that will whisk the miscreants to treasure island to turn back toward SF (thus avoiding the obvious trap of someone calling in the incident and having them nail you on the Oakland side. If they're all athletic, they would be better off running to treasure island and getting into vehicles there, thus minimizing the risk of being caught in the getaway cars).

  • Ever notice that BART and CalTrain have emergency breaks?

  • Go to a thrift store and buy some old suitcases. Accidentally leave them lying about in public places (use your imagination!), As an added bonus, toss in a few jars of peanut butter taped together, maybe a handful of fertilizer. Oh, and confetti, the bright sparkly kind that will scatter EVERYWHERE when they blow the thing up. I wouldn't bother with the anti-war pamphlets: They'd just burn.

I guess I just can't believe how BORING a lot of the demonstrations are. I pulled those off the top of my head, just in the last thirty minutes. How is it that, out of thousands and thousands of people willing to be arrested can't come up with anything as good as that? You also don't do much good by getting your ass arrested either. At least with the above you can return to disrupt again and again. Sheesh -- y'all call yourselves anarchists?

Oh, if you decide to try any of this, let me know: I wanna catch it on the news. Feel free to give me credit, it'll give the feds something to add to that folder with my name on it.
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