I was in a theater with my family (most of whom I find completely useless, ESPECIALLY my sisters), and I get the feeling that this is actually some time in the past. This is confirmed by the presence of my Grandma (who died in the mid-nineties) and the fact that my sisters seem younger. Mom (one of the only people in my family I want to have anything to do with) is walking by my side. As we enter, a very strange press conference is going on, where some rude reporter with Asian features is singing the "Porpoise Song" (from the Monkee's movie "Head"), and Micky Dolenz (the one who actually sings that particular song) is standing to my right with a pained expression on his face...as well he should, because the guy could induce howls in dogs miles away. He picks up the tune, much to the audience's delight, which seems to irritate the guy no end.
I walk over to the podium where the guy is trying to sing down Micky, when finally out walks Dennis Miller. Apparently I'm in the old Ed Sullivan theater. My mother comments about how it looks like the theater is bigger than it was the last time she was in it, and someone says "That's right, it's been RESTORED". This is a celebration for it's re-opening.
I walk up a flight of stairs, stepping past this aluminum scaffolding with an amazing array of patch panels and cables, gaffers tape, and lights. Upstairs, it's me and a bunch of people standing on the edge of a balcony...it looks like my sisters, dressed in pastel tights. It's an upper balcony, and as I look over from the back I see four people jump from the lower balcony. Since I can't see the floor, for a moment I think they've done something REALLY stupid, and I catch my breath. Then I realize it's a stunt.
Looking up, I see the stage...it's completely bare, without even those curtains in the back. If you've ever seen the beginning of the Talking Heads "Stop Making Sense" movie, where you see how far back a stage really GOES, it was like that. There was a stair case by the back wall, and my Grandmother was walking off the stage down the steps.
I start to comment on being startled by the trick to a guy who's still on the balcony on my left and behind me. He interrupts, saying he needs to concentrate on his trick...I apologize, abashed, and hunker down next to the balcony.
I head back down the same staircase I came up, this time pondering how much I would like being a sound guy. I literally hear the words as I would have written them: "You still have to work hard, but at least you get to hear the event without having to run around as much".
As I re-enter the main floor and take my seat near the front, Dennis Miller is making some comments. At some point he mentions someone needing to take a pee, and some older black gentleman goes off on a tirade on how he objects to the use of the letter "P", because it's the letter that begins the word "prejudice", the word of oppression. Out of no where I feel myself go "Oh PLEASE...not more of that non-consensually shoved down my throat PC CRAP!". A crowd of people applauds. The old man sputters and starts to try and shout me down, but I rise up and start to shred his arguments apart. "What, are we supposed to just THROW that volume of the encyclopedia out? Tear out the pages of the dictionary? All because those subjects and words have the unbridled lack of consideration to start with the letter "P"?" (more cheers) "I'm sorry, but ANY letter, ANY word can become evil in the wrong hands, just as any tool can be. Take a perfectly honest word like solution...are we to condemn it for all eternity because some nazi fucks stole it and put it behind the word "Final", rendering it into the most evil phrase of the last hundred years?"
I awoke to the sound of cheering still ringing in my ears. Damn it, why can't those kinds of dreams LAST?
I guess it was appropriate...there was a saying back in the UseNet newsgroup days: Any argument or debate was considered over the moment someone mentioned Nazies.
- "And Sharkey says,
'There was this man,
And this woman,
And if only I could remember these dreams
I'm sure they're trying to tell me