As many of you have already guessed, lavendersage and lovingstones and I have all made up. I wasn't mad at penguin_goddess in the first place, because I already figured she was just caught in the cross fire.
The argument was solved in the sneakiest way: They said I didn't do anything wrong. In fact, I apparently was incredibly appropriate in my emotional reactions and communication.
I mentioned this a few entries ago, sure... but I think I was still suspicious. Waiting for the other bomb to drop. Looking for the catch, Mr. Barnum.
We had a LONG talk on the phone Tuesday night that thrashed it out a lot more, which helped. Wednesday, Michele wound up staying in Carmel because she overslept and Rob felt like crap. I know, I was supposed to stay and keep the cats company... but Audra and Eileen both really wanted to make up face to face. Which is how I wound up spending the night in Hayward, with the both of them.
Eileen was so sweet... she tells me that she's been playing it close to the vest, not letting me see some stuff, which is why I was surprised when she said she was being "stingy" with Audra. Stingy? Ye gods, I save me from my lack of clues.
I can't say what happened that night. It's not that I wouldn't... I, in a very literary sense, CAN'T. Something happened... something earth shaking. It was so intense, I have to concede that my faith, while not fully restored, is healing. I still feel like I'm waiting for something.
I debated for the last two days over posting this, and if so, should I restrict it. In the end I concluded that it wasn't fair to bitch publicly and exhault in secret -- about anything, really. I've been going through so many complications, lately, it feels good to find another anchor.
So, the story continues. Stay tuned... but first, a word from my sponsor!