Yohannon (yohannon) wrote,

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Denouement of a Troll

This is related to a post in which _hellion decided that he was going to educate all of us on the topic of fat, and how only a minuscule percentage of people in kshandra's life actually found her attractive, if that. That in turn was related to this kick ass post in which a fat girl essentially issues a manifesto for her own liberation from the idea that people just like this fool have any power over her any longer. Feeling threatened, perhaps?


My name is Yohannon. I guess you could classify me as a long time net user... though there are a few that date back before 1978, I seriously doubt you would be one of them. I don't mention this to secure some sort of implied superiority over you as a person, so much as to confer a bit of my resume in terms of experiencing... shall we say... a slightly more complex picture of the "human race" that you somehow have deemed yourself worthy of becoming a mouthpiece for.

People here have made a small error, at least from my admittedly quick scan of the issue at hand. They are so busy trying to convince you that your view simply CAN'T be the sole view of the world that they're missing your true, only somewhat hidden agenda. Of course, I seriously suspect that this bias might even be concealed even from yourself, so no one should feel impaired in any way.

Now, this is the part where my somewhat bizarre experience with online written communication comes into play. A lot of people, very reasonably, expect people to read entire message threads word for word. Others make an equally reasonable assumption that people will scan through and pick and choose messages.

Me, I sort of do both at the same time. It's kind of hard to explain... it's like being able to read an entire paragraph at once without needing to read each individual word. I can thus get a high altitude view of entire threads and absorb specifics as if I were on the ground simultaneously. Like one of those posters of all the covers of Time Magazine that forms a portrait when viewed from a distance.

Now, the pattern of a troll is painfully obvious. They are incessant in their attack, absolutely certain in their position (if they actually BELIEVE in their expressed viewpoint, all the better!), dogmatic and pedantic in ways that I only thought I was capable of at my most vitriolic. They seem possessed of infinite amounts of time to berate their opponents, inflexible, and generally curt to the point of rudeness... and well beyond.

They also, invariably, are under 30 years of age. In fact, the troll "sweet spot" seems to reside at that tense period of life between 21 and 28, when most people have yet to figure out that they really don't have all the answers, and that life is far more rich and strange than their personal prejudices give it credit for.

Cheryl Haworth ring a bell? She won the US a bronze medal in weight-lifting, a sport she entered for the express purpose of building up strength to play softball... she already had ample speed. She weighs over 300 pounds, and I, as an intelligent male, find her deliciously hot. Just as I find kshandra incredibly sexy, both as a person and physically.

Now, that's an example of a direct contradiction to statements you insist are fact. I'm sure you can find a lot of ways to tell me I'm wrong, but the bottom line is that your infantile mewlings of protest will do absolutely nothing about how I feel about K'Shandra, fat women in general, and Cheryl Haworth in specific (if she ever reads this, I hope she'll email me!).

Yet knowing that, you will respond to my perceived unwillingness to bend to your will. If you don't to spite this statement, you'll continue to attack other people here who dare contend that you don't know the answers even on a topic with this narrow a focus... yet for yourself to say you do would be megalomaniacal at the least. Which leads me to wonder one simple thing:


Why put so much effort into making yourself thoroughly unlikable when it's pretty darn obvious that no one here is going to support you? Hell, thanks to you you've gone and energized a lot of people to make a stand. If anything you're doing more to support our position by the very contrast supplied by your intransigeance, your morally indignant posturing, as if we were suggesting supplying illicit narcotics to kindergartners by simply thinking differently.

Me, I've seen so many wild ideas of what life is, what it means, and where it's going that I feel comfortable... not delighted, mind you, but comfortable... accepting that people will believe what they will. You seem especially hysterically disinclined that someone can say, to your face, that even if any of your points were completely true... so what? Again, I would still find fat women attractive, I would still encourage them to be healthy through exorcize and eating right, and they would still be... you guessed it... fat.

I'll bet your bestgirl friend is fat. I'll bet you hate yourself each and every time you are aroused by her, and hate yourself even more when you fantasize about her naked. Think I couldn't know about that, that I have no right to presume? Well, you felt you had that right, didn't you?

Know who Fred Phelps is? He's the creep in the cowboy hat holding up the sign "God Hates Fags" at every opportunity. He added a "Matthew Shepard Burns in Hell" specifically for the same's funeral.

Bless him.

It's my contention that men like him... and yourself, to some degree... that drives the human race forward. Not because his cause is the right one, but for exactly the opposite reason -- it takes people like Lester Maddux to provide the outrage harnessed by great leaders like Martin Luther King Jr. to foment great change.

For the time being you're a self righteous bigot. But you've managed to make people realize how psychotically obsessive your position is, and thus made many people stronger. And even if you take my unwillingness to waste my time with an insignificant naif such as yourself as some sort of confirmation of victory, I still wanted to let you know:

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